Women Get Physically Abused But They Still Go Back – Is It Stupidity?

By Kiti Bolea


I will never for the life of me understand the logic behind this: A woman gets beaten up by her partner, spends a week or so away, and then goes right back to the abuser. Why does this happen?

Don’t they realize that this simple act of stupidity not only affects her future, but also affects her family, who have been dragged through this nightmare, only to see her go back to the abuser. For what? More abuse?

A man will never change. Maybe just for a few weeks, but after that its right back to square one. And when there’s a child involved, going back is downright selfish. How is bringing up a child around abusive behavior beneficial to character development?

We all know how abusive men operate. They keep it all bottled up inside so they can get back on the woman’s good side. And it builds and builds, until it all comes out in a wave of physical/verbal abuse most probably aimed at the woman and her child.

And when it happens again, the woman runs back to her family for sympathy and refuge. But no matter how many words of comfort that the family give, which is all BS, the fact of the matter is that IT IS the woman’s fault – for putting her child and herself in a situation to be abused.

An abusive man will always be an abusive man. If you choose to be with an abusive man, than expect nothing less. I’ve been disappointed over and over again watching close friends who I thought were strong women, go back to be abused over and over and over again. And they have all the excuses under the sun. It’s so frustrating.

How are women supposed to make a difference in this world, if some  can’t even make the tough decisions in their own personal lives? Why do some women become so meek and so easy to walk all over during times when they need to be at their strongest? Miss Independent becomes Miss Doormat.

And an abusive man always knows how to weasel his way back into the woman’s life. Just show up with a couple of bruises from a fight, throw some self pitying line like “I didn’t know where else to go”, and wham, woman accepts the sucker back. Why is it that all those around the woman can see exactly what’s happening, but not the blind idiot? And by blind idiot, I mean the door-mat-of-a-woman that just hammered a nail into her own coffin by going back to the abuser. It’s not a relationship. It’s a long ending one sided boxing match, and this latest acceptance is just  a ding on the bell for round 2. The question is, how many rounds of head pounding does it take for the weakling to wake up, smell the blood, and be the strong woman that she really is and leave…for good? Unfortunately, only time will tell..along with a couple of well aimed fists.

3 thoughts on “Women Get Physically Abused But They Still Go Back – Is It Stupidity?

  1. It’s sad that people like you are permitted to share your opinion publicly on the Internet. If you have never been the victim of an abusive (physically or psychologically) relationship, you have no right to accuse the victim of “stupidity” or “weakness.” Proposing that the person willingly chooses to go back into a destructive relationship is laughable. Why do heroin addicts keep reaching for the drug even after they consciously know it has ruined their lives? If someone was holding a gun to your head are you telling me that you would be able to simply walk away? Ha. You and no one else would do it because the consequence of walking away is most certain death. It takes breaking through IMMENSE psychological barriers to walk away. I won’t go into the extensive psychological reasons, which are supported by research studies conducted with people who have actually lived through abuse by actually intelligent, thinking people, unlike yourself, but, let’s just say, google traumatic bonding, or Stockholm Syndrome, and start from there.

    I have been terribly, horribly abused psychologically, physically and sexually for several years and am just now, with the help of a therapist, learning to undue the damage that has allowed me to stay. I was a healthy, independent and intelligent person many years ago and, today, I don’t recognize the person I am in any way. An abusive partner is more powerful than anyone on the outside looking in could ever imagine. Your post is weak and founded in your own socially ingrained beliefs. How is it that you are not STRONGER and more INDEPENDENT than to allow society to fill your head with stereotypes and shallow thoughts. Invoke the use of the thinking part of your brain, using well-rounded logic and extensive research before attempting to contribute any further opinions, please.

  2. Thank you so a lot for this impressive and productive assist. I won’t hesitate to propose you in my site and your internet sites to any man who demands guidelines on this scenario.

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