By Kiti Bolea
I’ve always wondered how owners of shops selling odd things make a living. Who’s going to buy monkey skulls and ghost repellents? But if you’re operating out of New York, then I guess sales must be pretty good, considering theres a lot of ‘special’ people out there. Especially now that there’s a deadly cobra on the lose from the Bronx zoo!
I mean, who looses a deadly cobra? While most sane people will understandably steer clear of the area, I reckon this is a killer opportunity for you shop owners to exploit those crazy people by having a ‘deadly cobra’ sale. NO, I don’t mean you go looking for that cobra and sell it. One, thats just whacked, and two, um because its deadly!
Here’s the perspective of a crazy person (not that I’m saying I’m crazy): What do you do when a deadly cobra makes its slimy escape from a metropolitan zoo? Simple – let the snake charmer in you take over. We all have an inner snake charmer…right?
So its pretty basic, get a snake charmer flute (heads up here shop owners), a turban, loin cloth, a fake peel off tattoo of a Hindu god, some gold chains for effect, and a nip or 9 of the strongest whiskey you’ve got. March on in to that zoo and let the cobra have it with your divine, snake charming newly found abilities.
How is this a bad plan? It’s fool proof! Even if you don’t get the attentions of the slithering earth co-inhabiter, you’ll at least get thousands of views on YouTube! And if you’re really lucky, the snake will show up and its anybody’s game from there!
I don’t know about you guys, but I’m signing up for snake charming classes..just in case! At least I can add that to my list of special abilities. And if a deadly serpent gets out in my city, you know who to call!