10 Steps To Being A Celebrity Criminal!

By Kiti Bolea

Can some kind hearted judge please just give that girl gangster what she wants and throw her in the slammer already! Is it just me, or is it so bleeding obvious to everyone else that that’s what she so desperately wants…to tap some thuggish girl hooch in orange overalls!

It may just be my over active imagination, but I have my own theories why America’s favorite celebrity criminal Lindsay Lohan keeps shimmering up to the wrong side of the law.

Here’s a thought: How does an out of work celebrity keep up her way of life? Simple. If you can’t cash in from your fame, then cash in from your notoriety! Its a simple process:

1. Make a deal behind the scenes with, oh say, a jewelry designer and fashion label.

2. Attempt to steal some piece of jewelery that’s way out of your price range..(yeah sucks to be broke aye!!)

3. Get caught.

4. Get your name in the media, yet again, for all the wrong reasons.

5. Piece of jewelry gets world attention, sales go up, thug life celebrity gets her cut.

6. Show up to court looking like the fab jail bird that you are.

7. World media goes into a frenzy on the oh so sexy outfit worn by ghetto queen. Pieces fly off the rack by idol worshipers. Sales blow the roof. Law abiding citizen (NOT) gets her cut.

8. Get let off yet again with a misdemeanor.

9. Plan next money making scheme!

10. Repeat

It’s a fail proof plan! Who cares that you’re a criminal. The important thing is that you look sexy as hell while you’re at it! After all, who doesn’t love a good juicy scandal!


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